


Don't Tell Mama

by AetherBunny



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, Double Drabble, Nonbinary Character, Other, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 07:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20653583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherBunny/pseuds/AetherBunny
Summary: Gabriel takes a night off and decides to go see a show. He gets the surprise of his life when he recognizes one of the performers.





	Don't Tell Mama

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheDreamer240](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDreamer240/gifts).

> Did you know Anna Maxwell-Martin starred in a production of Cabaret? I didn't until TheDreamer240 brought it to my attention. Naturally there had to be a fic.  
I recommend looking it up on youtube! You can find a few of the musical numbers there! She's very good! BUT Cabaret is VERY risque!! So don't watch it at work or if people who would look at you funny are around!

Gabriel got comfortable in his seat and flipped through the program. He wouldn’t truly recognize any names, he didn’t do this often enough, but he thought it would be nice to see the cast.

In no time at all the house lights were dimmed and the pre-show announcement was given. No photography, no cell phone conversations, etc. A second announcement was made the role of Sally Bowels would be filled by an understudy.

The show began and it didn’t take long at all for him to be completely preoccupied with the understudy actress. The tease of the fishnet stockings under the robe had gotten him a little hot under the collar. And was the cross necklace supposed to be upside down or was that an oversight? _Anyway_. Everybody was very good, the show was very good. Uriel had given him a rundown. Mostly the political plot points. She had left out (intentionally or not) exactly how much of the plot was delivered in said cabaret in various states of undress. Or maybe he should have anticipated it based on the title.

Embarrassingly he found the actress very cute. Her pert little mouth, her halo of blonde curls. He bet he could get his hands a good way around her waist, and maybe he’d like it if he could try and find out… Angels were definitely _NOT_ supposed to feel that way towards _humans_. But he wasn’t going to _do_ anything, he wouldn’t seek her out...

Eventually the realization that they weren’t human hit him like a freight train at top speed. It was one particular facial expression that gave it away. One petulant scowl. And he knew, up there on stage, wearing very very little, singing their heart out, was Beelzebub. He wasn’t sure if this made his feelings better, or much much worse. If he wasn’t sitting in the middle of the row he might have gotten up to leave the theater in chagrin.

\---

There was a knock at the dressing room door. A stagehand called out.

“Miss? Somebody wants to see you?” Beelzebub looked over at the sleeping woman on the cot. She had been out for hours. They realized the stagehand must be talking to them. They hadn’t had time to change, but that might be for their benefit.

“Yeah.” They called back and the door swung open. It was the tall kind man with the big beard. Behind him another tall man. This one clean shaven and notoriously not as kind.

“He says you go way back.” The stagehand thumbed in the other man’s direction.

“Yeah it’s alright. He’s fine. Thank you.” They nodded.

The stagehand nodded back and left the two of them alone.

“Gabriel.” They acknowledged, but didn’t move any closer to him.

“Um, hi.” He offered them a little bouquet of brightly colored carnations the theater sold in the lobby. “I thought it would be less suspicious this way. If I um.”

“What do you want? Hell knows I’m here. They don’t care. It’s not any good for blackmail.” They cut him off sharply.

“No no. I was just out for the night. Stretching my wings so to speak. Uriel said Cabaret was showing, and I thought I could go for some theater. What are YOU doing here?” He fumbled. They sighed.

“Same thing you are I guess. Getting out for a night.” They tentatively took the bouquet.

“You’re not here to tempt anybody?” He gestured at their appearance.

“Actors don’t need any help indulging in anything. If I’ve given the audience impure thoughts that’s just a bonus.” They raised an eyebrow. Gabriel had to clear his throat before continuing.

“_Your_ idea of relaxing is performing _LIVE THEATER_? You learn all of that for how many shows?”

“One, maybe two. And I don’t learn it, I borrow it.” They shrugged.

“Borrow it?” He parroted. Beelzebub pointed to the young woman still sleeping on the cot.

“She better be alive.” He raised his voice a little on the off chance it would wake her.

“She is. She’s just getting a nice long nap. I don’t even give any of them nightmares. I just let them sleep through the show. I slip in as an understudy. You know as well as I do we can avoid questions.”

“Oh. Oh. Well that’s uh. Kind of you I guess.” He paused. “Do you do this a lot?” They shrugged again, and fiddled with a flower petal.

“On and off. I’ve been Eliza Dolittle, Victoria Grant, Little Red Riding Hood, Mrs. Lovett, Edwin Drood, Columbia a few times actually. Some more I can’t recall. I’d like to try Lynette Fromme, but nobody really does that one anymore.”

“Oh.” Only a couple of those names were immediately familiar to him and boy was there whiplash between them.

“What do you actually want?” They found a makeup wipe and went right for their lipstick. _**Don’t **_ the back of Gabriel’s brain begged without his consent.

“I was just surprised to see you up there. You’re um. Very good. I thought you should know. If nobody else tells you after these things.”

“Oh.” It was their turn to be relatively speechless. “Thank you.” They waited there in silence just sort of looking at each other for a little while. The woman on the cot snuffled and rolled over.

“We should probably get out of here.” Gabriel figured that wasn’t a good sign.

“Right.”

“Can I buy you a drink or something?” He offered.

“NO. No.” They added gentler.

“Can I know when you do this again?”

“Maybe. I won’t tell you, but I won’t stop you if you find out on your own.”

“Can I buy you a drink then?”

“Maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> The characters Bee mentions playing are from My Fair Lady, Victor Victoria, Into the Woods, Sweeney Todd, The Mystery of Edwin Drood, and The Rocky Horror Show! Lynette Fromme is from Assassins, and was a real person. Assassins is not um, everybody's cup of tea, for it subject matter. Fromme is/was quite a character. Look into that at your own discretion.
> 
> I do recommend all of those shows, especially Drood. It's a fantastic interactive/choose your own adventure musical!
> 
> I know logically Bee would identify better with the Witch in Into the Woods, but Little Red Riding Hood gets to eat on stage...
> 
> You can now visit me on a sideblog on tumblr as Aetherbunny of course. I'm still sort of setting it up and deciding how I want to maintain it. But feel free to say hello! or ask questions or perhaps buy me a kof fi if you know what I mean?


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